It’s sad how often I hear this phrase when I ask friends if they are doing alright. As a Christian whom is very intentional in my faith I want people to openly come to me with their problems and concerns, knowing that I am a viable resource. Unfortunately more often than not I am hit with the infamous phrase, “well, I don’t want you to judge me.” It always leaves me thinking, is it because I come off as a judgmental person (I certainly try not to be), or is it because Christians have left a bad taste in their mouths for how to deal with these situations.

This sucks because I know as a Christian we are not supposed to be doling out wrath and judgement to the broken and the sinners. What person is going to decide to be a Christian, or follow God when Christians are screaming down their throats that drinking is sinful, you will go to Hell if you do drugs, God hates fags, and so many other nasty comments. I can tell you now that if I was not a Christian, someone coming up to me and judging me for my lifestyle certainly is not going to change my mind. So how do we combat it? How do we fight the stigma of Christians being judgmental? How do we urge other Christians to do the same?

The answer to that is not always forthright, but I like to look to Matthew 7.

Do not judge or you too will be judged…Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?… (Matthew 7:1, 3)

Christ does not call us to judge others! There is only ONE lawgiver (James 4:12). How can any of us judge anyone else when we ourselves stumble daily? I personally use that remark every time someone doesn’t want me to judge them. I cannot pass judgment because I myself am far from perfect. All I want to do is be there to help. That is what God wants from us. Not to critique people’s lifestyles, but to be a lighthouse in the rocky waters of their sins. We shouldn’t be trying to sink their ship that may barely be staying afloat. We shouldn’t be smashing them against the reefs of guilt and punishment, but instead, ¬†guiding them safely to shore with our light of truth and righteousness so that their broken vessels may be repaired and made new by Christ.

None of us are perfect creatures. None of us have the right to act like we are. We are all broken, and we all need Christ to make us new. If you encounter problems with friends who don’t want you to judge them, remember this. Let them know you are not here to judge, but to be there for them. Let them know you have no room to judge. I cannot profess to always holding true to that, but by the grace of my God I know one day I will be able to be an untainted light to those in need, without an ounce of judgment in my soul. I pray the same for you.